What Grem's Been Up To

So, obviously, the puppy's taken up a lot of time. At first I thought we were just puppysitting, like with Diesel and Madi except in our house. I guess that the new crate, Mom moving around all her bedroom furniture, and introducing Ghost as my "brother" should've given me a clue! But hey, how was I supposed to know? 

So when I realized he was staying --I'm not proud of this-- I freaked out. Why did Mom suddenly hate me? Wasn't I good enough? Why'd we need another dog? Where did all my attention go? What the hell, Mom?! I decided I was going to make her understand what I was going through, what kind of awful torture she had inflicted upon me, by just ignoring her. When she let me out in the morning, I wouldn't come back inside. I wouldn't even let her catch me. In fact, I went and hid under the house so that she definitely couldn't get me. That seemed to make her mad, so then I really didn't want to come out, and I stayed away longer.

And then when I was inside, I went on a hunger strike. I love my food, so Mom was super worried. Good. She gave me more attention, an egg, and I scarfed it down. Much better! That's the treatment I wanted!

I didn't take it out on the puppy, of course -- he didn't really know better, so I just played with him. I guess Mom got mad that I was going under the house because I'd teach Ghost to do it, which was bad, but I didn't care. How dare she do this to me! I like other dogs, sure, but sharing my mom?! Hell no! I'm the special one! I'm her "heart dog"! She doesn't need another!

She cornered me in the yard one of those times, and that didn't help. The next time I evaded her even better, and wouldn't come out for anything -- food, toys, treats, baby voice, nothing. I leered out at her from under the house -- maybe she'd get it that I really, really didn't want to share her.

But then she broke down in the middle of the yard in tears and sat down at our picnic bench, and I realized maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I just wanted to knock some sense into her -- I didn't want to make her sad! So I went over and comforted her and let her pet me and bring me inside. And a couple days later I came inside at her call, after she had patched the hole under the house, and she gave me some yummy treats instead of just shoving me back into the house. I guess that's good enough.

But I guess my plan did kind of work, because I remember her saying that of course I wouldn't be happy when my whole schedule was uprooted. She'd been so worn out by the puppy that we hadn't done anything together except sleep! So after my acting out, she started to do stuff with me -- we went to the beach and walked around town, and did training together and played games like frisbee and fetch and flirt pole (my favorite!) I got more yummy food to compensate, but she didn't give me enough to be full because she didn't want me to go back on a hunger strike. 

And after five long and awful weeks, we're back where we started. Sometimes she puts Ghost outside in the yard so we can just have "us" time, and we still go on walks and do stuff regularly. I'm happy that she realized I needed more from her --even with the puppy here-- and she's happy that she realized she wasn't doing what she should've to make it easier on me. We're both better and and back to how we were before... plus Ghost.

Catch Up Part III - Ghost and Grem: Pic Heavy!

No, really, this is the last "catch up" post! Promise! ... Maybe. And then it'll be back to your regularly (well... not really...) scheduled Me posts! We just have a lot of ground to cover in only a few words, so it's taking up a little more space than we thought it would.

The past five weeks have been hell! Hell, I tell you! But the good kind. "Puppy blues" lasted damn near six months with Grem, but this only lasted a couple weeks... though I'd be lying if I told you I don't still get frustrated and want to rip out my hair in rage. 

If you know anything about me, you know that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing when I got Grem. He was my very first dog and I was surrounded by people who still believe in the dominance method combined with the most possible force to get the dog to behave. The amount of times I alpha-rolled, ear-pinched, face-snarled, hit, bit, smacked, spanked, and terrorized Grem is a number I can't count on both hands. The guilt that stems from being so ignorant about him and his behavior is something I wrestle with every day when we take a walk and he lunged toward someone, when he shies away from a hand moving too quickly toward him, or when he nearly backs out of his harness in terror at a foreign stranger approaching. However, I've learned to accept that my mistakes were a product of ignorance and misinformation, and I try to forgive myself despite the lasting damage I inflicted upon this poor creature. 

Aw, Mom. It's okay. You're doing the right thing now and that's what counts!

Thanks, bub.

Now, when I started seriously considering getting another dog, I was already well into PR/R+ training. I've foregone the old ways, cringe when the term "alpha" pops up, and try my damnedest to never force, yank, jerk, pull, yell, scold, or scream at the dogs. (That's not to say I haven't, because I have -- all I'm saying is that I put a great effort into remaining calm and level-headed. We all make mistakes!) One of the driving factors toward getting a pup was that I wanted to start with a "clean slate," so to speak. I wanted to raise a pup on R+, socialize, and do things right. 

I got lucky. Ghost is a blessing. He and Grem mesh together perfectly, from play style to temperament, and balance each other nicely. Ghost is much calmer, even at fourteen weeks, than Grem was at five, six, seven months. Ghost is calmer than Grem is now! He's smart, handler-oriented, friendly, and moderately active. He took to crate training within hours, knows "go crate/crate" and has picked up on sit, down, stay, wait, leave it, heel, shake/paw, high-five, spin, whirl, and sitting for opportunities. He doesn't nip, bite, or shriek. 

He's a very easy puppy, to be honest. Compared to Grem's puppyhood, he's a saint!

If I wasn't already sold on R+, seeing Ghost learn eagerly, without fear, and quickly has completely sealed the deal. I will never, in a thousand years, go back to the forceful methods I used on Grem. I regret what I did, and while I can't go back in time, I can try my hardest never to make those mistakes again. Have I yelled? Yes. Have I gotten frustrated? Of course. Have I done things I shouldn't have? Well, yeah. I'm very lucky to have dogs with such forgiving temperaments that I can lose my cool and not scar them for life, but that does not mean it's okay. 

Each day for me is an exercise in discipline -- not for them, but for me. Discipline in the sense that I must keep my cool, I must not punish, and I must not take my frustrations out on the incredible creatures I share my life with.

We say we train our dogs, but in my case, my dogs train me.