And Then There Was One

Hey all. I know it's been a good few months since our last post (October -- whooo) and I thought it might be nice to take a minute to apologize for that. 

Forgive us?

And also, to explain why we fell off the face of the earth for a while. 

Those of you who know me via other social media sites (DogForum, Tumblr, and Facebook are my other main networks) know that I'm in the foster care system, and that I've been living with a foster parent for the last few years. Her attitude toward me was less than desirable, but we'll not get into that now. We've steadily clashed on a number of things since I moved in, and a few months ago, those tensions reached an all-time high. I interfered in something I probably shouldn't have, got pissed off when she disregarded what I had to say  (which is an ongoing issue) and the night ended with her promising to give seven-day notice on me. 

For anyone not familiar with the foster system, this meant I had seven days to find somewhere for the dogs, find somewhere for myself, pack, and be out of the house. Seven days is not a lot of time, as anyone who's ever been evicted from a house could tell you, and when you have two dogs, it's even less time. I spent a week frantically calling rescues, local pet funds, dog sitters whose ads I'd picked off bulletin boards, friends, acquaintances, and anyone else who might be able to help. Within a couple days I had somewhere for Ghost to stay; he went to hang out with a family I had house- and dog-sat for over summer (featured in our "Catch Up - Dog Sitting!" post). I know the family well, and they adore their two existing dogs. The only concern was how the dogs would get along, but they quickly took to each other.

Throwback photo of Madi and Diesel, the family's existing dogs, from when we dog-sat over summer. Look, there's me!

I had somewhere for myself, too. My choir director had offered to let me stay with her for a while until I could get on my feet again. However, her rules were no dogs (allergies, landlord) and I wouldn't expect anyone to take me and one of my dogs into their home. 

That left me with Grem. Finding a temporary placement for a well-behaved, trained puppy is one thing. Finding a temporary placement for a fearful, reactive five-year-old dog is another thing entirely. We met with a woman who works for the social system who had mentioned possibly being able to take him for a while, and Grem and her existing dog got along great. But I had no solid answer.

Still not sure why nobody volunteered to foster me immediately. I mean, I'm adorable, right?

I was out a day early for ridiculous reasons and luckily, the foster system paid for a dog-friendly hotel for a few nights. I arranged for Ghost to go with his fosters that Sunday, along with all his belongings, and continued to frantically search out places and people who might take Grem. I called up a local group who's known for funding care and vet visits for impoverished pet owners, and through luck and the miracle of people, the group approved a request to fund two weeks of boarding for Grem. That would give me a bit of extra time to get something together for him, and might be just enough time. 

Sunday morning, the woman who we had previously met with (Mary) called to offer to take Grem. She had taken stock of her situation and would be happy to help. He went to her Sunday afternoon, and then I went with a social worker to pack up the very last of my items. That was a very crowded hotel room for a night.

This was my bestie at Mary's house. His name is Bear.

Fast forward three months. Ghost was officially rehomed two months ago. After being turned down from one house and finding nothing else, I realized it would be hard enough finding a place. I'm eighteen with no credit, no references, and still in high school...and I have a dog. Not the best odds for house-hunting. The family watching Ghost texted me after having him for a month. After a discussion between the whole family, they decided that they'd love to keep him permanently. The mother texted me to ask if I'd be willing to rehome Ghost to them. I already knew the answer was "yes" and the emotional response was to that definitive answer. 

With only one dog, it became slightly easier to find housing... but not easy enough. I had been looking for a place with a friend who would be happy to split rent with me, but between the two of us (both working barely-adults with pets, my dog and her cat) we still didn't have enough money to find something.

Two weeks ago, my choir director's husband put me in contact with a man he knew who rented out rooms in his house, and a week later, I moved it. I had a full week to myself before Grem came home, and now that he is home, we've been trying to get back to where we were. His cues are shot, his reactivity is back tenfold, and he's a bundle of nerves. It feels like all my hard work was for nothing. But I have him back, and that's what matters.

Home at last with Mom. What an ordeal.

Admire from Afar!

I know, I know -- I'm adorable.

Oh boy. Here we go.

Ignore her. She's rude. As I was saying, I know I'm adorable. And so are a ton of other doggies! Like some of our DF buddies (DogForum.com... if you've never checked it out, I highly recommend doing so. Lots of dogs. And lots of resources!). We know we're super-cute, and we know we're awesome. We just prefer that you know that we're awesome from a distance!

I know, I know -- "What dog doesn't love being mauled with attention?!" And, for the most part, you're right. Your average taken-everywhere, super-socialized, straight-A-puppy-kindergarten Labrador pooch is going to love everybody; big, small, tall, short, cane, hat, glasses, whatever! But just because a lot of dogs really, really love attention, it doesn't mean that all dogs do.

I'm a cute pooch. I know it, Mom knows it, the screeching children down the street know it. 

Look at me. I'm adorable.

Come on, who wouldn't want to give me scritches and love on me? 

Unfortunately, the honest-to-Dog truth is this: I really don't want everyone to love on me. I love attention, don't get me wrong. Whenever we run into someone I know, you can bet I'll be all over them! (paws first trying to give hugs, too! ... Mom doesn't really appreciate that.) But to random people on the street? Hell no! If I don't know you, I don't want you to touch me. I think that's pretty reasonable.

Honestly, he's got a point here. I'd be a little creeped out if some random stranger tried to hug me. 

It's the same thing for me. Most of you non-furry, upright-walking types would be pretty weirded out if a random person ruffled your hair or ran up to you screaming about how cute you are, right? It's the same thing for me!

A lot of dogs are like this, and a lot, like me, don't look actively disturbed by strangers until you start coming at us with grabby hands. 

On top of all this, I'm actually really scared of people. Once I warm up to someone I'm their best buddy forever (and it happens quicker if you have food... mmm... food...) but it takes a while. For me, looking at me, talking to me, looming over me, and trying to touch me all send off a red-alert danger siren that "OMG! YOU'RE TRYING TO KILL ME!" 

If you really want to say hello, that's okay... but ask Mom first, and be prepared to follow instructions! If you don't wanna follow directions, we understand --and we're fine with it!-- but that means you have to just walk away. Please don't give me any attention without Mom's permission, because she knows me a lot better than you do, and she knows what pushes my buttons.

Make sure to always ask the human holding the leash if you can say hello, and please, please be okay with it if they decline. When Grem and I are out walking, we're working. He's reactive, meaning he barks and puts on a lot of fake bluster to scare people off -- he's gotten much, much better, but every time someone looms or sticks their hands in his face, it's a setback. 

If someone asks you to respect their dog's space, listen! Grem wouldn't bite, but someone else's dog might, and it'd be your fault for not listening to the person who said, "Thanks, but not today."

Be considerate of dogs who need space -- they aren't bad, they just need things to be a little different for them.

Black & White Sunday - The Nose Knows

In this case, the nose knows pathetic puppy eyes will get him a treat.

Black & White Sunday - Faux Adoration

He'll love anyone for a biscuit.

Black & White Sunday - Wood Sprite

Among the woods of Johnson's Park; Grem must've seen something of interest.

Black & White Sunday

What Grem's Been Up To

So, obviously, the puppy's taken up a lot of time. At first I thought we were just puppysitting, like with Diesel and Madi except in our house. I guess that the new crate, Mom moving around all her bedroom furniture, and introducing Ghost as my "brother" should've given me a clue! But hey, how was I supposed to know? 

So when I realized he was staying --I'm not proud of this-- I freaked out. Why did Mom suddenly hate me? Wasn't I good enough? Why'd we need another dog? Where did all my attention go? What the hell, Mom?! I decided I was going to make her understand what I was going through, what kind of awful torture she had inflicted upon me, by just ignoring her. When she let me out in the morning, I wouldn't come back inside. I wouldn't even let her catch me. In fact, I went and hid under the house so that she definitely couldn't get me. That seemed to make her mad, so then I really didn't want to come out, and I stayed away longer.

And then when I was inside, I went on a hunger strike. I love my food, so Mom was super worried. Good. She gave me more attention, an egg, and I scarfed it down. Much better! That's the treatment I wanted!

I didn't take it out on the puppy, of course -- he didn't really know better, so I just played with him. I guess Mom got mad that I was going under the house because I'd teach Ghost to do it, which was bad, but I didn't care. How dare she do this to me! I like other dogs, sure, but sharing my mom?! Hell no! I'm the special one! I'm her "heart dog"! She doesn't need another!

She cornered me in the yard one of those times, and that didn't help. The next time I evaded her even better, and wouldn't come out for anything -- food, toys, treats, baby voice, nothing. I leered out at her from under the house -- maybe she'd get it that I really, really didn't want to share her.

But then she broke down in the middle of the yard in tears and sat down at our picnic bench, and I realized maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I just wanted to knock some sense into her -- I didn't want to make her sad! So I went over and comforted her and let her pet me and bring me inside. And a couple days later I came inside at her call, after she had patched the hole under the house, and she gave me some yummy treats instead of just shoving me back into the house. I guess that's good enough.

But I guess my plan did kind of work, because I remember her saying that of course I wouldn't be happy when my whole schedule was uprooted. She'd been so worn out by the puppy that we hadn't done anything together except sleep! So after my acting out, she started to do stuff with me -- we went to the beach and walked around town, and did training together and played games like frisbee and fetch and flirt pole (my favorite!) I got more yummy food to compensate, but she didn't give me enough to be full because she didn't want me to go back on a hunger strike. 

And after five long and awful weeks, we're back where we started. Sometimes she puts Ghost outside in the yard so we can just have "us" time, and we still go on walks and do stuff regularly. I'm happy that she realized I needed more from her --even with the puppy here-- and she's happy that she realized she wasn't doing what she should've to make it easier on me. We're both better and and back to how we were before... plus Ghost.